In Loving Memory

Today is my dad'd birthday. He would be 67 if he is still here with us. But Allah love him more.  He passed away on 1st Jamadilawal 1435 that is on 3rd March this year.  Not until today do I have the courage to write my usual entries  what more to write about his passing here.  It has been a difficult time for us since he left us.  It is with the Mercy of Allah that we brave through and continue our life without him by our side.  We miss him so, so much.....

Yet indeed to Allah we belong, and to Him we shall return. In shaa Allah he is in a better place now.  Indeed this life in this world is only temporary. For there will be the next life, the eternal one. I pray that his passing will be a beautiful beginning of the next life for dad. May Allay forgive him and have mercy on my dad, and put him among the solihin.

One day - sooner or later - our time will come too.  For this life is only a delusion, a temporary one;

"Every soul will taste death, and you will only be given your [full] compensation on the Day of Resurrection. So he who is drawn away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise has attained [his desire]. And what is the life of this world except the enjoyment of delusion." [Quran 3 : 185]

He may no longer be with us.  But his love and his memory will live on and stay in our hearts for as long as we live in shaa Allah.  He always believed in me.   Dad always thought that I will do great in photography. And to him, I was fluent in writing.  As if writing is something that is second nature to me.  Every time he mentioned that, I doubted it but never brought myself to tell him, probably because I so wished what he said was true.  In terms of writing, I always see myself similar to Jack of  all trades. Neither great in English nor in Malay writing.  Dad always told me to pursue writing, but I have long left it. Yes, that much I doubted myself that I did not even give it my best try.  When in fact I know so well that writing takes practice.  You do not become good in an instant.  You do not become good because you took a writing course; or you were a Journalism major back in school.  Yes I took Journalism, yet I always have this fear to write thinking my writing is not good enough.   How silly I was! You become good when you practice.  You write, and write and write.  Till you become better, and better and even better.  Writing is a journey, and will always be.  From time to time, you will see yourself progress and grow.  Just like in photography.  You grow.  Your pictures developed through years of practice.   And so does writing.  I  believe in my dad now, and perhaps I always believed in him. But I let fear got in the way.

I do not want to let fear get in my way any more.  How many years have I wasted because of my fear.  It is time that I take up writing again.  I would love to see myself grow in writing.   Perhaps in 5 years time, I hope to look back and see how my journey has been.  I do not want to be afraid any more, or fear that my writing is not good enough or my grammar is bad.  The most important is to share. Perhaps someone can benefit from my writing, even if it's only for one or two persons.

And in shaa Allah I will improve from time, to time.  Not only in the language.  But my own self.  A good friend of mine told me that writing is like a self-motivation.  I  could not agree more with her.  When you write, you record your thoughts and words.  You capture them in writing.  Just like photography.  While a camera preserves a memory, a pen or a writing tool preserve someone's thoughts and words.  And similar to photography, when your thoughts and words are written you get to see [read] them, learn and improve.

I did write couple of years ago when my eldest was about three years old.  She is eight now.  I wrote some articles for an online photo community.  I still keep them.  Early this year my best buddy invited me to give a talk to a group of mothers on 'Photographing Your Baby.'  I took up her invitation, excited to share my experience.

Fast forward the talk was then held in early April. I also took the chance to share one of the articles with them.  I rewrote the article a bit, printed and shared with them during my talk that day.  I felt good sharing what I know and my experience with others.  To know that actually someone can benefit from your sharing is such a humbling experience.  I would love to continue the journey.  In shaa Allah.

For I believe sharing is joy. That is probably what my dad felt.  He loved to share.  One of them was sharing fruits from the tress he planted - he loves gardening very much.  And when sharing he not only gave, he gave the best from his harvest.  And not only the best, he made sure the fruits were washed and cleaned properly, one by one. And then wiped with a clean cloth.  He was very meticulous when it came to that.  You give the best of what you have.  He lived by that.

I miss you so much Dad....

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2009 KLPA

about

KL Photo Award finalist Milin Kassim is a custom, natural light portrait photographer. She specializes in newborns, babies, children and family portraiture. Contemporary in her approach, Milin strives to capture memorable, heartfelt images of childhood. She especially loves, loves to capture family connections and relationships; that sweet love and special bonding family members have for one another. And she has a big, soft spot for children natural expressions - be it sulking, cheeky, giggle, shy, angry, curious, etc. Those expressions melt her heart in a way she could never possibly describe in words. With thoughtful attention to details, Milin dwells in her dreamland of picture-processing giving a special touch to each of her images; turning them into artistic portraits that she hopes will tug the hearts of families for many, many years to come.

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